The following is a short story written by (insert name) (your own if you like it, your worst
enemy's if not). It should be read with a light-hearted approach.
The story is (circle one) a] non-fiction b] fiction. Please feel free to insert any name you
prefer when the story suggests you do. Now, the story.
One day around (insert time) I was at home with my (circle one) a] boyfriend b] girlfriend c]
unknown, and we were (circle one) a] making love b] doing it c] fucking d] having sex e] enjoying
each other's company. We had one of those cute little sex guides that read something like (circle
one) a] "Kissing is an excellent form of foreplay to arouse one's partner." b] "Insert tab A into
slot B.", when guess who came over? Need I say more?
Ernie was peering over me and (insert name) and said (circle one) a] "Sorry." b] "Oops!" c]
"Nice bed." d] "Isn't that counter cold?" e] "Careful with that can opener." f] any combination of
I was a little bummed and shocked at his remark(s). So I got dressed, went into the living
room, and had a beer with Ernie. He said, "I hate (insert least-favorite beer)." I said, "Well, I like
(insert favorite beer)." Then we both said, (circle one) a] in unison b] poorly synchronized
"Thank (insert a god) we're drinking (insert a third brand of beer)!"
Then Ernie asked me if we were using a (insert favorite condom brand).
I replied (circle one) a] "Yes." b] "Hell yes!" c] "Damn right." d] "Most certainly." e] "Of
course." f] "Always do." g] "I'd be a moron not to." h] "No." Then my (refer to earlier multiple
choice) walked into the room.
Ernie commented on (his/her) legs. I'm proud of them, too, so I didn't mind the remark. So
then I recommended Ernie and I go to the park. He agreed, as usual.
Ernie and I were sitting in (insert a park name) watching the kids play on the swings and
things. We were drinking (insert a non-alcoholic beverage) (please note: non-alcoholic due to a
public place) and eating (insert food), when Ernie spotted this kid who had fallen from the
monkey-bars. He ran over to help the kid out, and discovered the kid was all right. The mother
came along and thanked Ernie. I was a little surprised to learn that Ernie was so kind-hearted.
Then I said, "Let's go get some (circle one) a] ice cream." b] hot dogs." c] pizza." d] shrimp."
Ernie said, "Splendid idea." We finished the before mentioned food, when...
(choose one) a] end the story here (If chosen, move on to End Sequence) b] press on for
more plot (If chosen, proceed to Prelude to End Sequence).