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Intro: animated Barbie 
Ron discusses spelunking, Mr Obnoxious annoys, Barbie disturbs 
John and Jeff Leppein present "This is your life, Rowland" 
Sign off 
This no longer exists in any form that I'm aware of.
S - 1 - 2 - L - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9
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I use basic stop-motion animation editing to make a Barbie doll we found (I don't recall where) appear to walk across the bottom of the set and welcome everyone to the show before doing a somersault off the stage.
She then returns several times during this first interview. We kept the camera in the same postion and would split-screen the bottom with the tape of the animation during my interview with my "best-enemy" Ron Boulis, discussing a fictitious career exploring caves around the world. Of course, each time we said "Oh no, here she comes again!" we would have to stand on our chairs so the split-screen didn't cut off our legs. In addition, I'd filmed the doll with the camera at a low angle, in order to catch the bottom of the set, so when we went to film the interview we realized our heads were cut-off, so we all slumpled in our chairs as we talked. Beyond these physical demands, we also had the return of studio employee Chris Adams as Mr. Obnoxious to disrupt things. The funniest part is when he walked off camera, grabbed the doll, and came back with her hung on a shoe-lace noose, then swung her around and tossed her back off, only to have her "walk on" again.
Brother's John and Jeff, whom I failed to catch at home for the episode one "Roving Reporter" segment, provided this long bit of nonsense. Jeff played the host, and John played all of the guests from my childhood, including my nanny, a grade-school teacher and high-school sports coach (nerd that I am, I never participated in any sports). This was about as ludicrously plastic as possible. I even arrived on set on a bicycle to the strands of Darth Vader's march from The Empire Strikes Back score that we dug out of a box in the studio and used quite liberally during this bit.
I don't remember, but I probably eluded to the fact that I was leaving the show and that a new host would replace me.